If I Could Turn Back Time…

I’m sorry you know. I’m sorry that we have grown apart. I’m sorry that we don’t have that closeness we used to have. It’s sad like you said. It hurts. Right now we are very far from each other and not only in miles. Idk what happened. I don’t know when it happened. Our lives are very distant from the other. I don’t know how to explain it. Maybe it’s what happens after so much time when everyone is going on with their lives. Our lives. Our work. Our time difference. Our differences. All the things we used to fight against are finally overcoming our efforts. It’s sad to see the other lose focus, to see the other not putting in the effort they used to. It’s sad when the “I love you” and the “I miss you” seem to be said to make up for lost time, lost conversations, to fill up the empty space. We feel it yes, but we fail to show their meaning. Maybe we got used to each other. Used to the other being there. Used to being in a relationship. I don’t see the spark we had back when we used to talk about our future. Now all I see is us waiting to see what happens. I can’t say I like it. I can’t say it feels ok but honestly, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get back all that is missing. It’s sad not knowing. It’s sad having to ask myself if you want this enough because I don’t see it. It’s even more sad to think that maybe the same thought goes around in your mind. What about all that we talked when we made the decision of canceling the trip? Where are all the promises we made? Now they seem lost in a sea of text messages… just like our relationship. It’s painful to see love dying little by little every day. But if we wait til the end there won’t be a love to fight for, there won’t be a love to save. All we will have left is the love we killed and the relationship we will bury and forget about it with time. I didn’t want this to be just a few chapters in an unfinished book because we decided to stop writing the story we had together. If only I could turn back time…


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