Recently, an old friend approached me to ask about my opinion/advice about a situation he is in regarding his love interest. He wanted to express himself anonymously ( reason why he asked me to write this) in hopes to finally reach a decision and feel some peace in his heart. This is what he had to say:
” Many people ask the reason why, well, I can only tell by my experience because a woman loved me in a special way. Like no woman ever loved me before. She loved me in such a way, that I told her I couldn’t offer her material things and she said to me don’t worry, I fell in love with you because of the way you are, how you treat me and the way you treat other people. Well, you can say it’s easy and go for it! But no, the truth is that it’s very difficult. You must be asking Why? Simple: it’s an impossible love. Why? It’s a love so pure, so beautiful. It doesn’t seem real. The impossible part is because she is married and has kids. But not only that…her husband’s family feels a great affection towards me. Her life with him hasn’t been easy. You will understand the dilemma. Do you think is right to take away the woman he already has? Would I be a scoundrel? That’s the reason why I pushed her away from my life. I made up excuses to push her away but, why I think about her more with each passing day? Should I wait for fate to work in my favor? Keep looking for love? In some other eyes, some other gaze. Someone who is like her, if that even exist. I can’t seem to forget about her; we met and we hugged each other tighter than before. She looks beautiful to me even when disheveled. I haven’t forgotten about her! I wish I could try to build a new life. Could I? Who knows… Does she knows? Do I know? Perhaps God knows? “
While my friend here is facing a true dilemma, someone close to me told me recently that we couldn’t control love. I think the heart has reasons that the reason doesn’t understand. I talked to my friend a couple of days ago. He assured me he was finally letting go of her and forgetting about her. Funny that he says that, he talks to me about her almost every day.
There’s so much in my mind all the time, but words don’t linger enough in our minds and heart to keep them for a long time. Little love notes help me keep track of everything I wish I could say but I choose not to. Love can be so overwhelming at times, it’s one of the feelings that I can hardly manage and keep under control all the time. What can I do? I’m a hopeless romantic.
Sometimes it feels like floating in an endless ocean with soft waves carrying me effortlessly all the way to you. Why today it feels like I’m drowning? I don’t even make an effort to go back to shore… So I let myself drift away farther and farther away from myself and all the way to you. Music plays in my head, I can hear Blue October as the sound gets lost inside my head…
“Sometimes it feels just like I’m falling in the ocean
Let the waves up and take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down”
I always want to write about you. Since that day you asked me not to because you didn’t want to be “a story” in my life. I knew you weren’t going to be “a story” but “THE story” of my life. You are the person who turns my days into beautiful dreams. Today you are so far away from me and I miss you so much. Dealing with an overwhelming amount of feelings is not always easy. What motivated me to fight for this, is knowing you make me happy and wanting to be with you. I know this won’t happen today or tomorrow, but one day soon enough, the distance will be just another story I will write about. All I want is to be able to hold you, sit by your side and look you in the eyes when I tell you how much I love you. You are everything I didn’t knew I wanted. I remember when you told me you would make me the happiest woman in the world. I wanted to tell you that you do it every single day that we are together. I know distance has its ups and downs but I promise you one thing: I WILL STAY. I want to be the reason you smile every day.
Got the most beautiful gift today. When I saw it my heart skipped a bit and I couldn’t help but to fall in love with every little detail about it; from the names to the little drawings… every little detail there spells love.
Thank You Marly for such a wonderful gift. We are both very happy and you can be sure that it will be one of many beautiful things that will last forever. Thanks for the memories.
My problem is that I don’t believe in half loves. Either we do it or we don’t. If we go for it, know that I’m serious about it and I will give it my all. Don’t expect me to forget about things. I’m here to create memories of a perfect life we can build together. my only fear is disappointment and I’m hoping you don’t break my heart.
Fate brought us together… if you choose to believe in that kind of thing. Now I’m hoping that time works on our favor because the future is waiting for us. Thousands of miles apart but what if I told you that you are one of the best things in my life? Without you my world wouldn’t be the same because I thought I could save you when you are saving me instead.
Every day I write love letters or little love notes in my mind. For some reason I can never find the courage to send all of them. Mostly they stay in my phone, as some draft here or Tumblr. I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with my romantic side because I know that my feelings can be overwhelming. Maybe it’s time I start sharing some of them.