Airports are like magical waiting rooms on your way to or from home. Like any magical place, you have to be ready for adventure to happen at any moment. At least that was what I was thinking back on February 5th 2021 after hugging my brother and walking into Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport in Puerto Rico with Jay as my trusted sidekick.
Once inside, everyone seemed to know what they were doing and where they were going except me. After getting our bags inspected by the USDA and losing the sticker 20 seconds later, we were ready for every safety protocol and flying to NYC. Piece of advice here: don’t put money in your pocket. You’ll look funny holding it in your hands and triggering every single thing inside the body scanner. Let me tell you that I’m not scared of flying. But when you’re in a plane full of people and scared to even breath inside your mask because of Covid, you start playing different scenarios in your head and even think about every airplane accident and how no one survives it. I think I have an overactive imagination or maybe I just need to download more movies the next time… who knows.
JFK International Airport in NY is huge. From skywalks inside the airport to the Airtrain to connect passengers to their terminal I think you get the idea. Security is very tight so we were checking our watches every few minutes and praying to make it in time for our next flight. It took us around 2 hrs to get through security and everything and we even had time to spend $30 (price for 2 combos) in a McDonalds because we were scared to wander away from our gate. We took our time to eat, charge our devices, made some calls to family and friends and to our surprise, there was another boricua (someone from Puerto Rico) taking the same flight to Cairo. Here (PR) we have a saying about that: “you can go anywhere in the world and you will find a boricua”. Turns out “our plantain stain” showed by the way we talked Spanish. We spent the rest of the wait and flight talking and sharing food with Felix (forget about Covid and all). When it comes to food, we boricuas forget about everything else going on; it can be the end of the world and we’d still be cooking and/or eating.
Flight from NY to Cairo is a little over 10hrs. There is no amount of movies, books or music in your device to prepare you for it. Trust me. EgyptAir is an excellent airline. It’s like going back to preschool; they serve you food and then turn off the lights so you can take a nap after eating. Looking at the screen that shows you the map and route gave me enough time to think about planes crashing into the ocean. Luckily, I didn’t have internet to search about it or the desire to know the odds. Let’s just say I have a greater chance of having an accident in the streets of Cairo even if I’m not the one driving.
We arrived at Cairo around midday the next day and our next adventure began. Cairo International Airport is easy to navigate even for foreigners. The amount of security makes you feel at ease and everyone is very helpful – even when the soap dispenser in the bathroom explodes all over you – just ask Jay about it.
There are no words to describe the feeling of walking outside and seeing my husband waiting for me at the door. He remembers the only word I said while hugging him… “finally”. One word to try and say everything my heart was keeping inside. Ten months later (December 17, 2021 to be exact) we got to replay that scene. Only this time he was the one whispering in my ear “finally” while he hugged me once again outside the same door. Feels amazing to be here with him again if only for a few weeks.
When we met, I didn’t expect life to lead us here. I’m happy to walk hand in hand with you into this magical adventure we call life. A year ago we decided to spend the rest of our lives together when we said the words “I Do”. Our love was always written in the stars and today I can say without any doubt that in any world, in every life, across the Universe I’d choose YOU. It will always be you.
My three wishes today: A lifetime of memories by your side. That our love keeps growing even while apart. That the life we’re building together takes new meaning with each new plan.
Let’s keep writing our happily ever after…. Happy Anniversary My Love. One year down, forever to go.
Love Is Not Tourism is a global movement dedicated to raise awareness about long distance relationship couples and families separated by travel bans/border closures during the Covid-19 pandemic. Some couples had to wait for a long time before they were allowed to travel and reunite with their loved ones. As of today, some of them are still waiting.
Ahmed and I had to wait because we married during strict measures. But 2021 came full of hope for us so we would like to share some of it…
I’ve wanted to share all about my relationship for the longest time. But for some reason, this part of my life feels so special that I wasn’t ready yet. A lot of people had asked me a thousand questions since I came back from my trip to Egypt so I guess it was time I shared a little of it.
I met Ahmed back in 2019 on a dating website. But before you say anything , no, I wasn’t looking for love in all the wrong places. Someone suggested I check the website out and since I was single, why not look at some profiles? I got a message from that cute egyptian and soon enough we exchanged Instagram accounts. I have to tell you that it was a recipe for disaster: he was looking for something serious and I just wanted to meet people and make new friends, he’s all fit and I’m all fat. A few days and insults later, we decided to delete our dating profiles and give it a try. You can like someone because of their looks you know, but you fall in love with their soul and that’s what was happening to us. You can say we met each other by chance, but stayed together by fate.
He was everything I didn’t know I always wanted. We tried our best to get to know each other using every social and messaging app available to us and of course, we met each other’s parents via video call. Did I mention he was very serious about this relationship? As a heart attack. So it wasn’t a surprise that I wanted to impress him on Valentine’s Day (here’s how) and guess what? It worked! He asked me to marry him that day and I said yes without thinking about it twice. I was more than happy. We made it official the next month and that means we told our families. His family was very happy and supportive about it. Mine thought I had lost my mind. Maybe I did lost my mind for him?
A few weeks after that, the Covid 19 pandemic was announced and it felt like the whole world came to a halt. We saw our hope dwindle as airports and borders closed and traveling was restricted. We never stopped looking for options. Then my friend Sean suggested we get married online. Ahmed and I discussed the option for some time. He still jokes about it and tells me it was worse than a job interview. I mean, he was applying for the husband position after all! We married online on August 10, 2020. Yes ONLINE! Yes, legally. It was kind of a secret. I didn’t want my family to call me crazy until after I was married. To my surprise, they were ready to support me in my decision (after saying we were crazy of course). It took us around 4 months to certify, translate and legalize papers to have our marriage registered in both countries (US and Egypt).
Fast forward to February 2021 after months of texting, talking, video calling and sleeping together “on calls”, my brother took my son Jay and me to the airport. Ahmed and I were finally ready to start writing the next chapter of our love story in Egypt! Our journey to Cairo was a mini adventure… but that’s a story for another day.
Long distance relationships are not easy. Closing the distance takes time. So until then, we will keep writing the most beautiful love story. Our happily ever after.
I started this year thinking that it felt kinda like a trial subscription to a streaming service that you can’t cancel. Three months into it and I still ask myself “What will happen in today’s episode of Giby’s Misadventures?” I mean, last season in the show that is my life was incredible. It was full of unexpected things like making it through a pandemic (we’re still doing it) and getting married. Even I didn’t expected that one but turns out that it was the best decision of my life. Will tell you about it later.
I’m starting this season with a different cast. People who I thought would always be there for me left and others who left in the previous season came back. People I never gave a chance are now recurring characters in my show. Of course I’m always grateful to the ones who stay no matter what goes on in the show. I’ve made a few mistakes, I know, but I keep learning as the show goes on.
Contrary to a show you see on TV, There’s no pre-written script. There’s a lot of improvising going on. I’m learning that things don’t always go the way I plan them or the way I think they should. There are things that go wrong and I can’t always fix them. Sadly, some things have to stay broken even if I wasn’t the one who broke them. Turns out I don’t have an unlimited supply of props in this show.
I visited my husband in Egypt last month (Episode 2?) and I learned that you can actually forget about bad times for a while and keep looking for better ones as long as the people who love you are by your side. But that whole Egypt thing is a collection of stories that need some time to tell so I will be writing about it soon.
So stay tune for the next episode of Giby’s Misadventures. Now streaming on My So-Called Life.
Sometimes we write the words we wish to hear. Because I know how it is for your soul to be tired. Tired of living the same day over and over again because every day is a repetition of the one before. So predictable, it actually hurts. Four letters in my mind: SSDD (same shit, different day – Stephen King described it perfectly in his book Dreamcatcher). People who can’t understand our feelings will give us detailed instructions on how to change our lives. It isn’t so easy for us, the ones living the life others say is so easy to change. We don’t need instructions. It isn’t like we don’t try. It feels more like we’ve spent our whole lives trying and it becomes a race without a finish line, with no real way to win so we can finally say “I’m here, I made it, this is the life I always wanted”.
I know the feeling of wanting to disconnect yourself from the rest of the world or maybe just disappear for a while. After constant reminders of how you are not good enough you start to feel that it must be true, because after all, you’ve always felt like you don’t belong. So you wish you can just leave everything and everyone for a while, knowing they might not be there when and if you come back; of course you try to stay for as long as you can. A little support would be a lifesaver at this point but how to explain, how to talk about the secrets you don’t want to say? But we do, we stay… each time for a little longer because it is expected. We are adults. Maybe we stay because there is someone who will miss us or maybe because there is someone we always miss?
I’m scared that someday I will not find the courage to stay when all I want to do is to escape. Though sometimes late…I have to say it to myself: STAY. Stay because you’re missed. Stay because you are loved. Stay because life goes on and he makes it worth staying every day. Stay even when it’s taking a little bit more time to change; but sometimes what we are doing is changing the life of someone else. Whatever you do, know that there are people who want to understand… that they can’t live without you, and you don’t want to live without them. So Please, STAY.
I have been revisiting old posts lately. In part I guess it is because they are still relevant; they still describe how I feel today. If they are still relevant, then it means that in some way, I haven’t been able to “fix myself” or maybe there are a lot of questions, doubts or fears.
Maybe this is the reason why I still keep my little box of horrors…
There is a box hidden inside the darkest corners of my mind. It will keep safe what we have, will keep our relationship from breaking apart. You see what I most fear is that time will change what we feel. So I go there once in while to put all my bad thoughts inside. Stored away in that dark space are all the doubts that I have. When the trust tries to go away I lock those thoughts inside that place. Jealousy and anger are there too, all part of a time bomb I’m scared it could explode soon. I’m trying to put away my expectations because not everyone will make the same efforts. Now as I watch from afar with a glass of wine in my hand as the only witness to my crimes…trying to keep my insecurities locked inside so my relationship can last. A final toast to everything inside:
For all the things you didn’t see. The messages, love letters and text you won’t get but I wrote them anyway, they got deleted before I could push send. All the things we won’t share; the thoughts, the words, calls, dates, special days. I’m honestly hoping you will care. All the things you forgot, some promises you broke. The written pages, quotes collected, Pinterest boards created but you won’t get them. The social apps we couldn’t share, no reason now to be hiding out there. Chances missed, opportunities not taken. Pictures never shown of things and places; a world we could’ve shared but we missed it. All we can still learn or teach the other. Now I wonder why we never take the time for it. The heart shouldn’t know about distance. I don’t want to give up on all I’m feeling, trying to keep it away and hidden because I am afraid of all of it fading. For all the times I’ve tried. I learned the drill: get angry, argue, forgive and try, try, try. All the times I cried because I couldn’t say I wasn’t alright. I never want to make you angry because I care about details in our lives. For the times I felt neglected. I’m tired of repeating how to fix it. The secrets, the questions, the plans to build our forever. Because we should start now to make it simple later. every day I hope you understand and start making changes. I will drink to that and more to come, because I decided to put it all in The Box.
Now that all is done I will leave a note on top of the box. It will serve as a reminder for next time I’m here, to decide if it’s worth it to hide my fears. Remember this was me trying to make this work while waiting for you to play along… “SHE OFFERED YOU THE WORLD HOPING YOU CHOSE HER INSTEAD”.
You deserve someone who gives stability to your life, with whom you can go to sleep without having to ask yourself if they will love you tomorrow or not (but of course I will, for the rest of our lives together). Someone who would rather give up on being proud than give up on you ( I will never give up on us). Someone who makes you a priority and not an option, who gives you the place you deserve in their life. Why? Because you deserve love, honesty and respect. Love shouldn’t be a multiple answer question… loving should be your only choice.
There’s so much in my mind all the time, but words don’t linger enough in our minds and heart to keep them for a long time. Little love notes help me keep track of everything I wish I could say but I choose not to. Love can be so overwhelming at times, it’s one of the feelings that I can hardly manage and keep under control all the time. What can I do? I’m a hopeless romantic.
Sometimes it feels like floating in an endless ocean with soft waves carrying me effortlessly all the way to you. Why today it feels like I’m drowning? I don’t even make an effort to go back to shore… So I let myself drift away farther and farther away from myself and all the way to you. Music plays in my head, I can hear Blue October as the sound gets lost inside my head…
“Sometimes it feels just like I’m falling in the ocean
Let the waves up and take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down”