Tag / relationships

by Gibran Cruz

Six Years, and What I Really Want Is to Be Bored With You

“ In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you”

That line from Everything Everywhere All at Once has been in my mind lately. Maybe because today is our sixth anniversary. Six years of marriage, and somehow the thing I find myself wanting most isn’t another romantic dinner, a weekend away or some big anniversary plan.

Long distance has a way of turning a relationship into a collection of events. We see each other for about a week (a few if we are lucky) every six months. So when we’re together that week becomes this whole thing. We have to make it count. We have to have fun. We have to go places and do things and make the most of the time we have. And suddenly we are not experiencing ordinary married life. We’re experiencing a series of little vacations.

I understand why we do it. When you only have a week, you don’t want to waste it. But sometimes I think that’s exactly what I want. To waste it. To wake up and not think about how many days are left. To make coffee, go to the grocery store. Watch something, figure out dinner. Normal stuff.

The stuff that probably doesn’t register as special when you have it every day. That’s the part I miss. I want the boring parts, the everyday parts – what’s like to be in the same house long enough for us to get on each other’s nerves, to sit in the same room doing completely different things, going to bed knowing we don’t have to say goodbye in a few days. I want to be bored together.

Maybe we’re expected to look at the big moments -the trips, the dinners, the pictures, the memories- and feel like that’s what a marriage is. But after six years, what I find myself wanting isn’t another big moment. It’s the stuff nobody thinks to take a picture of. Laundry. Taxes. A Tuesday. A relationship that I get to actually live.

by Gibran Cruz

Heartstopper: Forever

Based on Alice Oseman’s bestselling graphic novels, Heartstopper: Forever serves as the emotional conclusion to the Netflix series. What began as a story about two teenagers falling in love grew into something a little more complicated than that – friendship, identity, mental health, and the people who help us become who we are.

This final chapter follows Nick, Charlie, and their friends as they face the challenges of growing up, proving that while life doesn’t get easier, facing it together can make all the difference. If you’ve seen the series from the beginning, Heartstopper: Forever feels like saying goodbye to the characters and what made them unique.

What I liked most about this story is that it never pretends love magically fixes everything. Every relationship in this group goes through something different: anxiety, family issues, growing up, and the realization that most of the times love isn’t the hardest part… life is.

Watching some of the characters face the possibility of distance was probably the most emotional part for me. Their future suddenly feels uncertain and for a moment you’re reminded that not every love story gets to stay easy. But even then, it was their decision to keep choosing each other.

The movie reminded me that love isn’t winning because every problem disappears. Love wins because, even when life gets complicated, they choose to care for each other, support each other, and believe their relationship is worth fighting for.

It was an emotional roller coaster from beginning to end. I laughed, smiled, worried, and definitely got emotional more than once. Maybe I should read the graphic novels. What do you think?

by Gibran Cruz

People We Meet on Vacation Movie Review: A Story About Friendship and Love

People We Meet on Vacation (available on Netflix) is one of those movies you put on thinking it’ll just be background noise — something cozy, something light — and then suddenly you’re paying way more attention than you expected.

It’s based on Emily Henry’s book, but even if you haven’t read it, the story feels familiar in that oh, I know this feeling kind of way. It’s about Poppy and Alex, two people who don’t really make sense – but somehow make sense together. She’s loud, curious, always chasing the next thing. He’s quiet, steady, and perfectly fine staying where he is. Once a year, they go on vacation together. Just friends. Until… well, you know how these things go.

It’s Less About Travel and More About Everything Else

Yes, the movie takes you to beautiful places. Beaches, cities, sunsets that look like postcards. But the travel is really just a backdrop. What actually matters is what happens when you spend that kind of time with someone who knows you a little too well.

Vacations have a way of speeding things up emotionally. You talk more. You joke more. You also accidentally say things you’ve been avoiding all year. Both in movies and real life. People We Meet on Vacation understands that. Some of the best scenes are just Poppy and Alex sitting around, talking about nothing important and everything important at the same time.

It feels very real — like trips you’ve taken where the memories aren’t about where you went, but who you were with and what you didn’t say out loud.

The Complicated Comfort of “Almost”

This movie lives in the gray area. The “are we just friends or not?” space. The kind of relationship where everyone else sees it before you admit it to yourself.

Poppy and Alex care about each other deeply, but they’re also scared of ruining something that feels safe. That tension runs through the whole movie. It’s not dramatic or explosive — it’s awkward and sometimes frustrating. Which honestly makes it more relatable. Why? Because real life usually isn’t about big romantic gestures. It’s about timing that never quite lines up. It’s about liking someone when one of you isn’t ready. Or both of you aren’t.

Why I liked the Movie

This isn’t a movie that leaves you sobbing or jumping up and down. It’s the kind of movie that makes you think about people from your past. Old trips. Old friendships. The “what ifs” you packed away because they felt too complicated at the time.

People We Meet on Vacation is sweet without being cheesy, emotional without being heavy. It’s about friendship, comfort, and how sometimes the most important relationships in our lives start without us realizing what they’re becoming.

It’s also a movie about realizing that the person who feels most like home might not fit into the life you imagined for yourself — at least not at first.

And honestly, it’s the perfect movie to watch when you want something warm, familiar, and just a little bit too relatable.

Maybe that’s why it lingers.

by Gibran Cruz

Building A Better Relationship: How To Be A Better Partner Guide

Feelings are important in a relationship and how you act on those feelings can be the difference between having a healthy lasting relationship or getting a ticket to Splitsville. Every relationship is different, but there are some key elements (in my opinion) that can help you build beautiful things that will last forever. I call this the “How to be a Better Partner Guide”.

  • Trust – Trust is knowing your significant other can fuck up at any time, but having faith they won’t. You cannot truly love someone else without trusting them. It’s the foundation to any lasting relationship. When you and your partner trust each other, you have reassurance that you will not hurt each other on purpose and that the relationship will heal after arguments or fights. All of this makes you feel at ease when your partner is doing their own thing and you’re not around.
  • Balance – Relationships thrive and blossom when there is balance. In a healthy relationship, it’s easier to face life’s challenges hand in hand with your significant other. On the other hand, it can be a disappointment when one of you doesn’t put enough effort or investment to face those challenges together. I read once that “love isn’t always a two way street” and when only one person provides most of the support (financial, emotional, esteem, etc…) it could feel like the relationship is mostly one sided. This can cause a lot of strain. Now don’t get me wrong – relationships are not always 50/50. There are times when you have to be ready to give 80% when your partner feels like a 20%. But without equal effort and support to each other and your relationship, it becomes unbalanced and it can lead to insecurities (affecting the trust you have in each other and the relationship process) and maybe even resentment.
  • Communication – Have you ever heard something like “So much is lost between what is said and not done and what is done but not said”? That is why communication is so important. There will be a lot of talking, texting, sharing and even video calling in every social media app or messenger you guys have, specially if you’re in a LDR. Communication involves so much more than that. It also means learning to listen to your partner to have a better understanding of their point of view or the feelings they are trying to explain or show. It’s a constant exchange of words and actions that will help you work towards the same goals and future plans, resolve arguments and ease any discomfort that can come up in a relationship.
  • Commitment – Being committed in a relationship means that your behavior, thoughts and beliefs are aimed at meeting your partner’s needs and vice versa. When you make promises to a partner, you are stating your intentions. But when you act on that promise, it shows your commitment. It means that both of you are working together now, to have a better future. Commitment is not something we can turn “on” or “off”. Staying and loving someone is a decision we have to make every single day. The same goes for staying loyal to each other (no cheating or being unfaithful). This will help you have a sense of stability and feel safe in your relationship with your partner.
  • Safety – If you are able to manage the previous four elements… Congratulations! You just unlocked the “safety achievement”. Trusting your partner – and being trusted in return – having a well balanced relationship, communicating effectively and being able to make a commitment to yourself and each other, will give you the feeling of safety in a relationship (both physical and emotional safety). Have you ever heard the phrase “sometimes home is a person”? It’s because we know that’s the place we should feel comfortable and protected. Those feelings comes in many ways but basically, your partner should never feel the threat of being physically harmed or emotionally intimidated. Here are some ways to make your partner feel safe:
    • Respect boundaries you both agree on
    • Make your relationship a priority
    • Listen to understand your partner
    • Be transparent. Don’t lie or hide things and always keep your promises
    • Show effort
by Gibran Cruz

It’s Later Than You Think

Yesterday (August 10) was my 4th wedding anniversary and it’s been a bittersweet roller coaster of emotions. Ahmed and I closed the distance July of last year and, four months later, we were back doing long distance because of a job. So I did the math today and we’ve been physically together a total of 7 or 8 months max out of the 4 years of marriage (cue the sad violins).

Thinking about how time flies by, and how little time we’ve spent together, reminded me of a phrase immortalized in a song:

The years go by, as quickly as a wink. Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.

The obvious message is that we should have fun while we can, before we get old and die. But for me it has a deeper meaning. It’s about time passing by and not getting to spend it with the person I thought I would share every moment with. Life is fleeting. It’s better to have had your wish than to have wished you had.

by Gibran Cruz

Big Airports And How To Get Lost In Them

Airports are like magical waiting rooms on your way to or from home. Like any magical place, you have to be ready for adventure to happen at any moment. At least that was what I was thinking back on February 5th 2021 after hugging my brother and walking into Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport in Puerto Rico with Jay as my trusted sidekick.

Once inside, everyone seemed to know what they were doing and where they were going except me. After getting our bags inspected by the USDA and losing the sticker 20 seconds later, we were ready for every safety protocol and flying to NYC. Piece of advice here: don’t put money in your pocket. You’ll look funny holding it in your hands and triggering every single thing inside the body scanner. Let me tell you that I’m not scared of flying. But when you’re in a plane full of people and scared to even breath inside your mask because of Covid, you start playing different scenarios in your head and even think about every airplane accident and how no one survives it. I think I have an overactive imagination or maybe I just need to download more movies the next time… who knows.

JFK International Airport in NY is huge. From skywalks inside the airport to the Airtrain to connect passengers to their terminal I think you get the idea. Security is very tight so we were checking our watches every few minutes and praying to make it in time for our next flight. It took us around 2 hrs to get through security and everything and we even had time to spend $30 (price for 2 combos) in a McDonalds because we were scared to wander away from our gate. We took our time to eat, charge our devices, made some calls to family and friends and to our surprise, there was another boricua (someone from Puerto Rico) taking the same flight to Cairo. Here (PR) we have a saying about that: “you can go anywhere in the world and you will find a boricua”. Turns out “our plantain stain” showed by the way we talked Spanish. We spent the rest of the wait and flight talking and sharing food with Felix (forget about Covid and all). When it comes to food, we boricuas forget about everything else going on; it can be the end of the world and we’d still be cooking and/or eating.

Flight from NY to Cairo is a little over 10hrs. There is no amount of movies, books or music in your device to prepare you for it. Trust me. EgyptAir is an excellent airline. It’s like going back to preschool; they serve you food and then turn off the lights so you can take a nap after eating. Looking at the screen that shows you the map and route gave me enough time to think about planes crashing into the ocean. Luckily, I didn’t have internet to search about it or the desire to know the odds. Let’s just say I have a greater chance of having an accident in the streets of Cairo even if I’m not the one driving.

We arrived at Cairo around midday the next day and our next adventure began. Cairo International Airport is easy to navigate even for foreigners. The amount of security makes you feel at ease and everyone is very helpful – even when the soap dispenser in the bathroom explodes all over you – just ask Jay about it.

There are no words to describe the feeling of walking outside and seeing my husband waiting for me at the door. He remembers the only word I said while hugging him… “finally”. One word to try and say everything my heart was keeping inside. Ten months later (December 17, 2021 to be exact) we got to replay that scene. Only this time he was the one whispering in my ear “finally” while he hugged me once again outside the same door. Feels amazing to be here with him again if only for a few weeks.

by Gibran Cruz

365 Days Of LOVE

When we met, I didn’t expect life to lead us here. I’m happy to walk hand in hand with you into this magical adventure we call life. A year ago we decided to spend the rest of our lives together when we said the words “I Do”. Our love was always written in the stars and today I can say without any doubt that in any world, in every life, across the Universe I’d choose YOU. It will always be you.

My three wishes today: A lifetime of memories by your side. That our love keeps growing even while apart. That the life we’re building together takes new meaning with each new plan.

Let’s keep writing our happily ever after…. Happy Anniversary My Love. One year down, forever to go.

by Gibran Cruz

Love Is Not Tourism

Love Is Not Tourism is a global movement dedicated to raise awareness about long distance relationship couples and families separated by travel bans/border closures during the Covid-19 pandemic. Some couples had to wait for a long time before they were allowed to travel and reunite with their loved ones. As of today, some of them are still waiting.

Ahmed and I had to wait because we married during strict measures. But 2021 came full of hope for us so we would like to share some of it…

You can visit their website Love Is Not Tourism If you would like to share your success story or feel inspired by others, then you should check out The Love Visa.

by Gibran Cruz

My Egyptian Adventure: How It All Started

I’ve wanted to share all about my relationship for the longest time. But for some reason, this part of my life feels so special that I wasn’t ready yet. A lot of people had asked me a thousand questions since I came back from my trip to Egypt so I guess it was time I shared a little of it.

I met Ahmed back in 2019 on a dating website. But before you say anything , no, I wasn’t looking for love in all the wrong places. Someone suggested I check the website out and since I was single, why not look at some profiles? I got a message from that cute egyptian and soon enough we exchanged Instagram accounts. I have to tell you that it was a recipe for disaster: he was looking for something serious and I just wanted to meet people and make new friends, he’s all fit and I’m all fat. A few days and insults later, we decided to delete our dating profiles and give it a try. You can like someone because of their looks you know, but you fall in love with their soul and that’s what was happening to us. You can say we met each other by chance, but stayed together by fate.

He was everything I didn’t know I always wanted. We tried our best to get to know each other using every social and messaging app available to us and of course, we met each other’s parents via video call. Did I mention he was very serious about this relationship? As a heart attack. So it wasn’t a surprise that I wanted to impress him on Valentine’s Day (here’s how) and guess what? It worked! He asked me to marry him that day and I said yes without thinking about it twice. I was more than happy. We made it official the next month and that means we told our families. His family was very happy and supportive about it. Mine thought I had lost my mind. Maybe I did lost my mind for him?

A few weeks after that, the Covid 19 pandemic was announced and it felt like the whole world came to a halt. We saw our hope dwindle as airports and borders closed and traveling was restricted. We never stopped looking for options. Then my friend Sean suggested we get married online. Ahmed and I discussed the option for some time. He still jokes about it and tells me it was worse than a job interview. I mean, he was applying for the husband position after all! We married online on August 10, 2020. Yes ONLINE! Yes, legally. It was kind of a secret. I didn’t want my family to call me crazy until after I was married. To my surprise, they were ready to support me in my decision (after saying we were crazy of course). It took us around 4 months to certify, translate and legalize papers to have our marriage registered in both countries (US and Egypt).

Fast forward to February 2021 after months of texting, talking, video calling and sleeping together “on calls”, my brother took my son Jay and me to the airport. Ahmed and I were finally ready to start writing the next chapter of our love story in Egypt! Our journey to Cairo was a mini adventure… but that’s a story for another day.

Long distance relationships are not easy. Closing the distance takes time. So until then, we will keep writing the most beautiful love story. Our happily ever after.

by Gibran Cruz

Hold On…Before It’s Too Late (Stay – version 2.0)

Sometimes we write the words we wish to hear. Because I know how it is for your soul to be tired. Tired of living the same day over and over again because every day is a repetition of the one before. So predictable, it actually hurts. Four letters in my mind: SSDD (same shit, different day – Stephen King described it perfectly in his book Dreamcatcher). People who can’t understand our feelings will give us detailed instructions on how to change our lives. It isn’t so easy for us,  the ones living the life others say is so easy to change. We don’t need instructions. It isn’t like we don’t try. It feels more like we’ve spent our whole lives trying and it becomes a race without a finish line, with no real way to win so we can finally say “I’m here, I made it, this is the life I always wanted”.

I know the feeling of wanting to disconnect yourself from the rest of the world or maybe just disappear for a while. After constant reminders of how you are not good enough you start to feel that it must be true, because after all, you’ve always felt like you don’t belong. So you wish you can just leave everything and everyone for a while, knowing they might not be there when and if you come back; of course you try to stay for as long as you can. A little support would be a lifesaver at this point but how to explain, how to talk about the secrets you don’t want to say? But we do, we stay… each time for a little longer because it is expected. We are adults. Maybe we stay because there is someone who will miss us or maybe because there is someone we always miss?

I’m scared that someday I will not find the courage to stay when all I want to do is to escape. Though sometimes late…I have to say it to myself: STAY. Stay because you’re missed. Stay because you are loved. Stay because life goes on and he makes it worth staying every day. Stay even when it’s taking a little bit more time to change; but sometimes what we are doing is changing the life of someone else. Whatever you do, know that there are people who want to understand… that they can’t live without you, and you don’t want to live without them. So Please, STAY.