January Goals (Because I can’t stick to resolutions)

I was thinking of a few things that I wanted to accomplish this year but then I thought about how bad I was at sticking to my resolutions. So maybe it would be easier to keep it simple and keep making short term goals each month (commitment has always been my problem).

Going over last month goals, I finished reading one of the 2 books I wanted to finish and posted 2 of the 3 drafts I planned. That’s not so bad! About my relationship goal (take a few steps back) I’m making progress training Jedi style but more work is needed.

Now that I reviewed my progress, this month I will…

  1. Finish the other drafts I had. If that takes me a year I will be calling them resolutions ha!
  2. Start renovating my closet space. I fell in love with a closet organizer and I think I will start making changes around in my room.

Last but not least… A relationship goal:

  1. Work on my relationship. Things have been a little crazy and I know both of us could do better – copy/pasting this to his messenger – .

Next month I will be sure to check on my progress.

gibypea3

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Is it still My December? 

People close to me know that I overthink and obsess about things and it’s really hard to slow down my brain. One of the things I do is to convince my brain to “care less” about certain things and focus on simple, short goals to achieve each month.

This month I will…

  1. Finish the 2 books I’m reading simultaneously. Because obviously one wasn’t enough. Ha!
  2. Finish at least 3 of the 4 drafts I have sitting in my blog. Do I see a pattern here?

Last but not least… A relationship goal:

  1. Take a few steps back from my relationship. Not wanting to add to the pressure my bf has, I think the best thing I can do is give him some space. I’ve been kind of sad and my mind is racing in all the wrong directions so the best thing is give all the love stuff a break. I will train my brain Jedi style to not care about anything anymore.

 

gibypea3

Happy Anniversary (Love Letter #3)

On November 23, 2013 I heard myself say the words “I Love you too” making that a very special day. Anniversaries are not just dates in a calendar. They are reminders of special events in our lives. In my relationship they are a reminder of a decision we made to be in love and keep this love alive for years to come. It is a reminder of the commitment we have towards  this relationship and each other.

Love should be celebrated. We should look back with pride at all the years we’ve been fighting for love and conquering everything that life has thrown at us. We should look forward with confidence that we will still be fighting in the future. We should look forward and plan for our “forever”because I read once that “Forever is composed of Nows” (Emily Dickinson).

Our “nows”should lead to each other. Just like every big decision in  my life, every choice I make leads me to you, brings me closer to you. After all, you are my relationship goal. You have been for 3 years and I can only hope that you will be forever. You and Me turned out to be Us November 23, 2013.

Happy Anniversary Mi Amor…

love-letter-3

* The letter above was written during a hardship in our relationship. I thought that I had lost part of it during this time when some external factors were threatening everything we have built together. The letter is a reminder that we chose to fight for what it’s ours. Love.
gibypea3

 

November: I have Goals!

It’s been a while since I wrote down my goals. As part of the community I used to contribute to, we wrote our goals for that month. There is something about actually writing them that make them seem more real. At leas it feels that way to me. I feel I need to start doing it again, so here it goes…

In November I will:

  1. Save some money. I started to save for my passport but I didn’t finished. Don’t have my passport yet, so that is one of the things I’m planning to do before the end of this year.
  2. Finish some of my drafts. I’ve been feeling kind of down lately and couldn’t find purpose in writing. That is something we need to find in everything we do… I’m hoping I can finish some of the drafts I have saved and post them very soon.

Relationship Goal:

  1. Wait. It’ll all be over soon…things will change.

 

 

 

What He Said…

A few weeks ago I got a question on Tumblr. It made me think a lot and it took me like 2 days to answer it. Part of it because I was sure that the person knew about my long distance relationship. The other part was that I was asking myself those questions before I gave an answer. I wanted to be fair to the person (and to myself) and give an honest reply.

The next day I was sure I knew who that person was… the last question gave him away. Now it was time to finally answer after learning the shocking truth: When i said the person was right about it being less me.. It’s because in a way I did lost my inspiration and my purpose. He was right.

I didn’t think I was falling out of love. I was (I’m) sure of what i feel. But I guess sometimes we do lose our inspiration and our purpose and then we struggle to get it back. Sometimes it takes someone else to tell you.Someone else to say that you no longer write love letters. That you stopped showing everyone what you feel. That you don’t have those special details for that other person anymore.

You know what they say… People outside can see the smoke before the ones that are burning can feel the fire.

And finally when you do realize everything.. You wonder what happened  and how to get back on track. You think about the reasons you started writing in the first place… In my case it was because I felt my mind was going to explode in a million words. Then it became a way to handle my LDR.

Fast forward a few weeks later and I’m still trying to get back on track. Still trying to figure out how to stop writing love letters in my mind.. and the reason.. the reason is YOU.

gibypea3

It’s All In The Details.

detailsPicDetails are important in a relationship. It can be the difference between having a healthy, lasting relationship or getting a ticket to Splitville. Every relationship is different but there are certain things (in my opinion) that can shorten the longest distances.

1. Pet Names: Having a special name for your significant other can be a sweet and unique way to communicate between the 2 of  you.

2. Apps, Social Sites, Messages : There are lots of ways to shorten distance. Having  an  app for you 2 makes it special. Having the same apps to jump between them  when one isn’t working is useful. Text and/or call each other daily. That little detail tells the other person you are thinking about them. There is nothing sweeter than waking up/falling asleep to a loving message or better yet, falling asleep together while on video call. If you follow or check each other out (is not stalking if the other one knows, maybe) on social sites be sure to check once in a  while, let them know you care. it can be a fun way to leave each other messages that only the 2 of you  will know even if  they are public. You can  use a code word or any other thing to identify your messages. It should be ok to like or comment, lets them know you care and pay attention. Make it  funny or neutral if you have to keep it a secret (your relationship shouldn’t be a secret but, oh well); that sends the  message “I care about your things”.

3. Talking, Listening & Understanding: Always talk about the way you feel. Listen to each other’s points of view, try to understand. Don’t let arguments or discomforts sit for more than a day. If you don’t think you can do that, think about getting out of the relationship.

4. Dates & Dates: Try to remember special dates or occasions like anniversaries or the months you’ve been together. Try to schedule “special dates” to call each other, play that silly game, watch a movie or do something you enjoy together (yes that includes sex). Those  details tell your loved ones how much you care.

5. The Classics:  Classics never fail. I Love You or I Miss You are always  special when said from the heart. Be there for each other in time of need. Share details with each other but most  importantly, find new ways of letting the other know how much he/she is loved…those are the details of LOVE.

“Being away from each other doesn’t mean there has to be distance in the heart”  

gibypea3

 

Why I Light It Up Blue (for Autism)

LIUBAs many people know, April 2 is the World Autism Awareness Day. It was established in 2007 and it encourages Member States of the UN to raise awareness of the condition.

Though it is believed that the concept of Light It Up Blue was created by the Canadian Autism Society, there is one organization that promotes the event every year in the U.S.

This year, like every other year before (my son was Dx on 2008) I try hard to raise awareness by wearing blue, handing out information about the condition, sharing on social media and even getting my blue light bulb. The picture here shows the actual light bulb (party light) I bought from a hardware store. It’s not the one sold with the logo of the organization, is a simple party light that comes in a white package sold in any hardware store.  The only difference was that this year, I received a message on my Tumblr account asking me not to participate because the organization that promotes the event was “bad”and not really compromised with helping the families of those with autism. It prompted me to search the internet using the term “bad”along with the name of the organization. I have to say that I did. I have to say that there are countless people who do not support the organization because of how they spend the money – research on how to cure autism instead of accepting it, overpaying board members, using little of the funds to help families and those with the condition- to name a few.

After reading (and replying to the message) I had to ask myself why I decided to LIUB on World Autism Awareness Day. Was it to promote an event? To support an organization? the answer was simple… I don’t support organizations, I support my son.

It has been a long journey for us. Before your son gets a diagnose, the road is hard. Getting a diagnose is like re fueling your tank to keep on going. I’ve been on this road long enough to say that it is my duty as a parent to raise awareness and educate those around me so my son and  many other children don’t have to go through the pain of people staring, talking, and asking why is he/she is like that? So the parents (like me) don’t have to wrestle a school system plagued with incompetence, full of unqualified teachers that doesn’t want to help children (not all of them are like this but believe me, you will get more than a few).

In the years that I’ve been on this road (my son is 14 now) I had to learn how to be a psychologist, nurse, occupational therapist,  advocate, but above all… a mother of a special kid. It is my job as a mother to give my son the tools he needs for a brighter future. A future I’m sure no organization will give him, but I will. That includes the decision of giving him a better education in a school that I can’t even afford.

Will I light it up blue next year? Yes I will. Not because of any organization but because we have to raise awareness so our children can have a better, more inclusive environment. Not for a cure, but for better opportunities in a future. Not because someone asks us to do it, but because we choose to participate in their idea for our cause, for our journey.

 

 

gibypea3

Resources: https://en.wikipedia.org