I was thinking of a few things that I wanted to accomplish this year but then I thought about how bad I was at sticking to my resolutions. So maybe it would be easier to keep it simple and keep making short term goals each month (commitment has always been my problem).
Going over last month goals, I finished reading one of the 2 books I wanted to finish and posted 2 of the 3 drafts I planned. That’s not so bad! About my relationship goal (take a few steps back) I’m making progress training Jedi style but more work is needed.
Now that I reviewed my progress, this month I will…
- Finish the other drafts I had. If that takes me a year I will be calling them resolutions ha!
- Start renovating my closet space. I fell in love with a closet organizer and I think I will start making changes around in my room.
Last but not least… A relationship goal:
- Work on my relationship. Things have been a little crazy and I know both of us could do better – copy/pasting this to his messenger – .
Next month I will be sure to check on my progress.
I think is rather sad how we feel the need to hang on to something or someone because we don’t want to break it when we finally let go or leave. We feel we can’t hurt someone else, we can’t break someone else’s heart so we continue to be there, cause we are afraid to shatter someone else’s world.
The truth is we are living, existing in someone else’s world and in that process we don’t move on to create the one we want for us.
This is the last day of the year and I couldn’t be happier. This year was filled with many challenges and lessons that I won’t be able to forget. Everything seemed to be frozen in time, including my relationship.
As you all know… Shit Happens (in 2016):
Faces we see, hearts we can’t know. This year my relationship was truly tested. We dealt with people that tried to break us up, insecurities, trust issues, you name it. It was a lot. I feel like I lost something that I won’t be able to get back.
You can take the guy out from the army but you can’t take the army out from the guy. I learned firsthand that people who go to the military change. I’m happy because he has built a strong character and has become an amazing man. But nothing that good is free… he is stronger, tougher and now it feels like it’s harder to see his feelings and make him express them, even during arguments.
A blast from the past. Before he went to army I was very happy to see our relationship move forward and the way we felt comfortable expressing a little bit more in public. Now it seems that we are back to square one and it’s like we are stuck in year one of our relationship. But at least there’s hope…
I have to admit that not everything was bad. Here are the good things I will take from 2016:
Achievement Unlocked: Survived Army. Our relationship survived his time in the military.
Achievement Unlocked: Rings to Bind Them. For my birthday he bought me a beautiful ring. I did the same for his. Ehh… does this means we are engaged?
The Strong Woman Award. After all the challenges of this year, I’m still standing.
Medal of Hope. I know things will change for the better. We need to have a little bit of Faith and what every couple in a LDR has, plans (lots of them).
So before this year comes to an end, I have one more thing to say…
People close to me know that I overthink and obsess about things and it’s really hard to slow down my brain. One of the things I do is to convince my brain to “care less” about certain things and focus on simple, short goals to achieve each month.
This month I will…
- Finish the 2 books I’m reading simultaneously. Because obviously one wasn’t enough. Ha!
- Finish at least 3 of the 4 drafts I have sitting in my blog. Do I see a pattern here?
Last but not least… A relationship goal:
- Take a few steps back from my relationship. Not wanting to add to the pressure my bf has, I think the best thing I can do is give him some space. I’ve been kind of sad and my mind is racing in all the wrong directions so the best thing is give all the love stuff a break. I will train my brain Jedi style to not care about anything anymore.
On November 23, 2013 I heard myself say the words “I Love you too” making that a very special day. Anniversaries are not just dates in a calendar. They are reminders of special events in our lives. In my relationship they are a reminder of a decision we made to be in love and keep this love alive for years to come. It is a reminder of the commitment we have towards this relationship and each other.
Love should be celebrated. We should look back with pride at all the years we’ve been fighting for love and conquering everything that life has thrown at us. We should look forward with confidence that we will still be fighting in the future. We should look forward and plan for our “forever”because I read once that “Forever is composed of Nows” (Emily Dickinson).
Our “nows”should lead to each other. Just like every big decision in my life, every choice I make leads me to you, brings me closer to you. After all, you are my relationship goal. You have been for 3 years and I can only hope that you will be forever. You and Me turned out to be Us November 23, 2013.
Happy Anniversary Mi Amor…
* The letter above was written during a hardship in our relationship. I thought that I had lost part of it during this time when some external factors were threatening everything we have built together. The letter is a reminder that we chose to fight for what it’s ours. Love.
*Credits: lyrics from the song Pandemonium by Pet Shop Boys.
It’s been a while since I wrote down my goals. As part of the community I used to contribute to, we wrote our goals for that month. There is something about actually writing them that make them seem more real. At leas it feels that way to me. I feel I need to start doing it again, so here it goes…
In November I will:
- Save some money. I started to save for my passport but I didn’t finished. Don’t have my passport yet, so that is one of the things I’m planning to do before the end of this year.
- Finish some of my drafts. I’ve been feeling kind of down lately and couldn’t find purpose in writing. That is something we need to find in everything we do… I’m hoping I can finish some of the drafts I have saved and post them very soon.
- Wait. It’ll all be over soon…things will change.