Category / LDR

by Gibran Cruz

Dear 2016…

This is the last day of the year and I couldn’t be happier. This year was filled with many challenges and lessons that I won’t be able to forget. Everything seemed to be frozen in time, including my relationship.

As you all know… Shit Happens (in 2016):

Faces we see, hearts we can’t know. This year my relationship was truly tested. We dealt with people that tried to break us up, insecurities, trust issues, you name it. It was a lot. I feel like I lost something that I won’t be able to get back.

You can take the guy out from the army but you can’t take the army out from the guy. I learned firsthand that people who go to the military change. I’m happy because he has built a strong character and has become an amazing man. But nothing that good is free… he is stronger, tougher and now it feels like it’s harder to see his feelings and make him express them, even during arguments.

A blast from the past. Before he went to army I was very happy to see our relationship move forward and the way we felt comfortable expressing a little bit more in public. Now it seems that we are back to square one and it’s like we are stuck in year one of our relationship. But at least there’s hope…

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I have to admit that not everything was bad. Here are the good things I will take from 2016:

Achievement Unlocked: Survived Army.  Our relationship survived his time in the military.

Achievement Unlocked: Rings to Bind Them. For my birthday he bought me a beautiful ring. I did the same for his. Ehh… does this means we are engaged?

The Strong Woman Award. After all the challenges of this year, I’m still standing.

Medal of Hope. I know things will change for the better. We need to have a little bit of Faith and what every couple in a LDR has, plans (lots of them).

So before this year comes to an end, I have one more thing to say…

dear2016txt

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by Gibran Cruz

Is it still My December? 

People close to me know that I overthink and obsess about things and it’s really hard to slow down my brain. One of the things I do is to convince my brain to “care less” about certain things and focus on simple, short goals to achieve each month.

This month I will…

  1. Finish the 2 books I’m reading simultaneously. Because obviously one wasn’t enough. Ha!
  2. Finish at least 3 of the 4 drafts I have sitting in my blog. Do I see a pattern here?

Last but not least… A relationship goal:

  1. Take a few steps back from my relationship. Not wanting to add to the pressure my bf has, I think the best thing I can do is give him some space. I’ve been kind of sad and my mind is racing in all the wrong directions so the best thing is give all the love stuff a break. I will train my brain Jedi style to not care about anything anymore.

 

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by Gibran Cruz

Happy Anniversary (Love Letter #3)

On November 23, 2013 I heard myself say the words “I Love you too” making that a very special day. Anniversaries are not just dates in a calendar. They are reminders of special events in our lives. In my relationship they are a reminder of a decision we made to be in love and keep this love alive for years to come. It is a reminder of the commitment we have towards  this relationship and each other.

Love should be celebrated. We should look back with pride at all the years we’ve been fighting for love and conquering everything that life has thrown at us. We should look forward with confidence that we will still be fighting in the future. We should look forward and plan for our “forever”because I read once that “Forever is composed of Nows” (Emily Dickinson).

Our “nows”should lead to each other. Just like every big decision in  my life, every choice I make leads me to you, brings me closer to you. After all, you are my relationship goal. You have been for 3 years and I can only hope that you will be forever. You and Me turned out to be Us November 23, 2013.

Happy Anniversary Mi Amor…

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* The letter above was written during a hardship in our relationship. I thought that I had lost part of it during this time when some external factors were threatening everything we have built together. The letter is a reminder that we chose to fight for what it’s ours. Love.
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by Gibran Cruz

November: I have Goals!

It’s been a while since I wrote down my goals. As part of the community I used to contribute to, we wrote our goals for that month. There is something about actually writing them that make them seem more real. At leas it feels that way to me. I feel I need to start doing it again, so here it goes…

In November I will:

  1. Save some money. I started to save for my passport but I didn’t finished. Don’t have my passport yet, so that is one of the things I’m planning to do before the end of this year.
  2. Finish some of my drafts. I’ve been feeling kind of down lately and couldn’t find purpose in writing. That is something we need to find in everything we do… I’m hoping I can finish some of the drafts I have saved and post them very soon.

Relationship Goal:

  1. Wait. It’ll all be over soon…things will change.

 

 

 

by Gibran Cruz

Dear LDR Diary:

Today he has been in army for exactly one year. He left October 21, 2015. We are still here. We love. We wait. Less days now, I check my countdown every single day. I can’t wait for it to be over.

It’s funny how he says he hates it because I hate it too. He learned a lot of things, some of them he will take with him when he finishes. I learned a lot too. What’s more important is that we both learned to be patient. We learned how to be stronger together and we learned that doesn’t matter how a situation can change us… love will always remind us who we are to each other.

This year has taught us how to love and show it in all ways possible because you don’t know how much time it will pass before you can see or talk to each other. It made us realize that we can’t be without the other. Taught us how to be grateful for every bit of communication that made us feel closer in the distance… even when we are 6000 miles away.

The biggest lesson was knowing that we can do it, but only if we do it together day by day. We are not letting go.

 

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by Gibran Cruz

App Review: UNVEIL

One of my favorite Instagram accounts is Unveil (if you haven’t checked them out yet, what are you waiting for? Click the link!). Every picture they post asks you a different question that makes you think about life,the future, relationships etc…designed to spark a conversation.

A few weeks ago I saw a post about their new dating app called Unveil. You see, Unveil is not your usual dating app where you go through profiles waiting for pictures to catch your eye. You have to interact with people using voice messages (little conversations) to get to know people and reveal their picture.

It works like this:

  • You sign up using your email
  • You fill out a very simple profile (people will see your name, age and where you are from)

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  • Select the gender of people you want to meet (male/female)
  • Upload a picture. You can adjust the picture by moving it or pinching on it. Your image will be visible to you while you edit but once you finish, they will see a blurry image like my picture below

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  • Record a message saying a little bit of yourself
  • Start meeting people! You will see profiles like this one:

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  • After interacting with some people your inbox will look better than mine (hopefully) and their pictures will start to clear up (see pictures below)

 

Unveil is very simple to use. It provides a new way to interact and meet people. It gives you the opportunity to “click” with someone on a whole new level by hearing their voice and giving you the chance to connect with them based on personality. The exchange of voice messages will allow you to see the person’s profile picture (and for them to see yours).

I had fun using Unveil and would recommend it to everyone that wants to try a different kind of dating app. Just talk and have some fun! To download Unveil you can visit their website Here.

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Notes:

  1. Logo picture is property of the Unveil team. All other pictures are screenshots (personal phone).
  2. The opinions on this post are based on my personal use of the app and do not represent the opinion of the Unveil team.
by Gibran Cruz

Thoughts of a LDR gf: Military Edition

A year ago on this very month I was dreading the inevitable: my bf had to join the military and was leaving in October (2015). The weeks leading to that event weren’t easy for me. I wondered each and every night what my reaction would be when he left. I knew I was going to cry even when I told myself (and him) that it was ok, it was just days.

It wasn’t ok. The day he left we spent the afternoon talking, laughing and trying to convince the other that we weren’t nervous. We failed. I couldn’t stop crying. In fact, I cried for days after he left. I texted him every single night knowing that his phone was off hidden somewhere in his room. I had faith that one of those nights those messages would be marked read.

It wasn’t just days. That first time, I had to wait for weeks. Praying and wishing for him to be safe, in a good place and just waiting for my messages to be marked read. I felt down for weeks and had to get used to the fact that he wasn’t going to be there all the time. He even programmed one of those services that send you an email every day just so he could say that he loved me.

Never underestimate the power of a double check mark in an app. Yeah, I cried the day those messages were marked read right when I was texting. Best feeling ever after so many days.

Time is the best healer. October 2016 will mark a year. Every time he leaves again after “holiday” has gotten a little bit easier. We can text or talk sometimes. I don’t cry anymore. I miss him every single time and I still pray for him to be in good places, with good people, SAFE.

Most of all I think I pray for the day he finishes… my countdown app says that day is Soon. I bet he doesn’t even remember that I still get an email every day at 5:30 am. 😉

 

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