*Credits: lyrics from the song Pandemonium by Pet Shop Boys.
Tag / Relationship
November: I have Goals!
It’s been a while since I wrote down my goals. As part of the community I used to contribute to, we wrote our goals for that month. There is something about actually writing them that make them seem more real. At leas it feels that way to me. I feel I need to start doing it again, so here it goes…
In November I will:
- Save some money. I started to save for my passport but I didn’t finished. Don’t have my passport yet, so that is one of the things I’m planning to do before the end of this year.
- Finish some of my drafts. I’ve been feeling kind of down lately and couldn’t find purpose in writing. That is something we need to find in everything we do… I’m hoping I can finish some of the drafts I have saved and post them very soon.
Relationship Goal:
- Wait. It’ll all be over soon…things will change.
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Fighting for Love (Love letter #2)
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The Idea Of Love
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App Review: UNVEIL
One of my favorite Instagram accounts is Unveil (if you haven’t checked them out yet, what are you waiting for? Click the link!). Every picture they post asks you a different question that makes you think about life,the future, relationships etc…designed to spark a conversation.
A few weeks ago I saw a post about their new dating app called Unveil. You see, Unveil is not your usual dating app where you go through profiles waiting for pictures to catch your eye. You have to interact with people using voice messages (little conversations) to get to know people and reveal their picture.
It works like this:
- You sign up using your email
- You fill out a very simple profile (people will see your name, age and where you are from)
- Select the gender of people you want to meet (male/female)
- Upload a picture. You can adjust the picture by moving it or pinching on it. Your image will be visible to you while you edit but once you finish, they will see a blurry image like my picture below
- Record a message saying a little bit of yourself
- Start meeting people! You will see profiles like this one:
- After interacting with some people your inbox will look better than mine (hopefully) and their pictures will start to clear up (see pictures below)
Unveil is very simple to use. It provides a new way to interact and meet people. It gives you the opportunity to “click” with someone on a whole new level by hearing their voice and giving you the chance to connect with them based on personality. The exchange of voice messages will allow you to see the person’s profile picture (and for them to see yours).
I had fun using Unveil and would recommend it to everyone that wants to try a different kind of dating app. Just talk and have some fun! To download Unveil you can visit their website Here.
Notes:
- Logo picture is property of the Unveil team. All other pictures are screenshots (personal phone).
- The opinions on this post are based on my personal use of the app and do not represent the opinion of the Unveil team.
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Thoughts of a LDR gf: Military Edition
A year ago on this very month I was dreading the inevitable: my bf had to join the military and was leaving in October (2015). The weeks leading to that event weren’t easy for me. I wondered each and every night what my reaction would be when he left. I knew I was going to cry even when I told myself (and him) that it was ok, it was just days.
It wasn’t ok. The day he left we spent the afternoon talking, laughing and trying to convince the other that we weren’t nervous. We failed. I couldn’t stop crying. In fact, I cried for days after he left. I texted him every single night knowing that his phone was off hidden somewhere in his room. I had faith that one of those nights those messages would be marked read.
It wasn’t just days. That first time, I had to wait for weeks. Praying and wishing for him to be safe, in a good place and just waiting for my messages to be marked read. I felt down for weeks and had to get used to the fact that he wasn’t going to be there all the time. He even programmed one of those services that send you an email every day just so he could say that he loved me.
Never underestimate the power of a double check mark in an app. Yeah, I cried the day those messages were marked read right when I was texting. Best feeling ever after so many days.
Time is the best healer. October 2016 will mark a year. Every time he leaves again after “holiday” has gotten a little bit easier. We can text or talk sometimes. I don’t cry anymore. I miss him every single time and I still pray for him to be in good places, with good people, SAFE.
Most of all I think I pray for the day he finishes… my countdown app says that day is Soon. I bet he doesn’t even remember that I still get an email every day at 5:30 am. 😉
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What He Said…
A few weeks ago I got a question on Tumblr. It made me think a lot and it took me like 2 days to answer it. Part of it because I was sure that the person knew about my long distance relationship. The other part was that I was asking myself those questions before I gave an answer. I wanted to be fair to the person (and to myself) and give an honest reply.
The next day I was sure I knew who that person was… the last question gave him away. Now it was time to finally answer after learning the shocking truth: When i said the person was right about it being less me.. It’s because in a way I did lost my inspiration and my purpose. He was right.
I didn’t think I was falling out of love. I was (I’m) sure of what i feel. But I guess sometimes we do lose our inspiration and our purpose and then we struggle to get it back. Sometimes it takes someone else to tell you.Someone else to say that you no longer write love letters. That you stopped showing everyone what you feel. That you don’t have those special details for that other person anymore.
You know what they say… People outside can see the smoke before the ones that are burning can feel the fire.
And finally when you do realize everything.. You wonder what happened and how to get back on track. You think about the reasons you started writing in the first place… In my case it was because I felt my mind was going to explode in a million words. Then it became a way to handle my LDR.
Fast forward a few weeks later and I’m still trying to get back on track. Still trying to figure out how to stop writing love letters in my mind.. and the reason.. the reason is YOU.
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Stay
I know how it feels when you are tired. Not of life, but of your life. How it is, how it goes and how you know it will be the next morning, the one after and the one after that. So predictable that it actually hurts. To people that look at us from the outside it seems so easy to tell us detailed instructions on how to change our lives. It isn’t so easy to us, the ones actually living the life they say is so easy to change. Is not like we don’t try, is more like we have spent our whole life trying that it becomes a race without a finish line… There’s no way to win or to get to that finish line so we can finally look at our lives and say “we are here, we made it, this is what i wanted”.
I know how it feels when you want to disconnect yourself from the rest of the world and be yours for a few hours or a few days. Do your things, or maybe not doing anything at all. Those are the days I want to close all my social accounts and be mine for a few days. Watch some movies, read some books. Every time that happens it becomes a little harder to go back to share yourself with everyone else. We do because it is expected. We are adults. Maybe because there are people that misses us, or maybe there is someone we always miss.
There are times I’m scared that I would never find the right words to make you stay when all that you want is be away for a while. Though sometimes late.. I know I have to say it… Stay. Stay because you are missed. Stay because you are loved. Stay because life goes on and it takes us more time to change.. But sometimes what we are doing is changing the life of someone else. Whatever you do… Know that there are people, like me, who want to tell you that we understand…That we can’t live without you… So please Stay.
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The Love Letter
I think the first thing I wrote was a love letter. I used to do it a lot for friends who needed someone to fall in love with them, while all I wanted was to fall in love with words. I was the one with the romantic ideas for Valentine’s Day and they always seemed to work.
I didn’t write a love letter in quite some time… I guess people doesn’t really need them anymore. I do write the equivalent, some pretty long text messages filled with all kinds of romantic things that Ahmad loves to read (at least someone does). So it was expected that when a fellow blogger did a special in the month of February about love letters I would want to jump in (HERE is the link to her post).
I never shared that letter and after reading it over and over again.. I thought it was time to do so.
Until next time…
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It’s All In The Details.
Details are important in a relationship. It can be the difference between having a healthy, lasting relationship or getting a ticket to Splitville. Every relationship is different but there are certain things (in my opinion) that can shorten the longest distances.
1. Pet Names: Having a special name for your significant other can be a sweet and unique way to communicate between the 2 of you.
2. Apps, Social Sites, Messages : There are lots of ways to shorten distance. Having an app for you 2 makes it special. Having the same apps to jump between them when one isn’t working is useful. Text and/or call each other daily. That little detail tells the other person you are thinking about them. There is nothing sweeter than waking up/falling asleep to a loving message or better yet, falling asleep together while on video call. If you follow or check each other out (is not stalking if the other one knows, maybe) on social sites be sure to check once in a while, let them know you care. it can be a fun way to leave each other messages that only the 2 of you will know even if they are public. You can use a code word or any other thing to identify your messages. It should be ok to like or comment, lets them know you care and pay attention. Make it funny or neutral if you have to keep it a secret (your relationship shouldn’t be a secret but, oh well); that sends the message “I care about your things”.
3. Talking, Listening & Understanding: Always talk about the way you feel. Listen to each other’s points of view, try to understand. Don’t let arguments or discomforts sit for more than a day. If you don’t think you can do that, think about getting out of the relationship.
4. Dates & Dates: Try to remember special dates or occasions like anniversaries or the months you’ve been together. Try to schedule “special dates” to call each other, play that silly game, watch a movie or do something you enjoy together (yes that includes sex). Those details tell your loved ones how much you care.
5. The Classics: Classics never fail. I Love You or I Miss You are always special when said from the heart. Be there for each other in time of need. Share details with each other but most importantly, find new ways of letting the other know how much he/she is loved…those are the details of LOVE.
“Being away from each other doesn’t mean there has to be distance in the heart”
My So-Called Life 